After 15 years of living in the city where I spent most of my childhood, in about a month, my parents and I are moving. I'm incredibly happy; I associate our area with an immense amount of trauma--my agoraphobia has gotten increasingly bad over the years as even walking around my neighborhood is essentially flashback roulette. And finally, the wheels are rolling. I'm going to get out. I can't put into words how incredible this is, and it really doesn't make sense without the context of trauma, but living here has been so terrible for me. It feels incredibly oppressive. I feel not just out of place, but...unwanted, like i'm not supposed to exist. I can't explain it but when i was filling forms out for my trauma/EMDR therapist, one of the questions was "do you feel safe in your home?" You know, typically for kids in abusive situations. And I just broke down crying because I had to check "no." I'm so excited to take the shackles off, guys. My therapist thinks it will help, and I do too. I think I might stand a chance of healing.
I probably won't get as much art done as I'd like in the coming month(ish) because I need to pack up all my shit, so I wanted to update you guys. I'm so excited. A little scared and a little overwhelmed--but excited.